So I’m going to approach this post in two ways. The first will be something that is widely accepted to be a talent and the other will be drunken party trick (which I would argue is indefinitely a talent but potentially not everyone would agree).
So the (accepted) talent that I have is that I sing. Even a lot of people close to me that know I sing don’t know I’m very good at it because I get THE WORST stage fright EVER. Literally even in front of my closest friends/family. I had singing lessons at school and it was months before I could even confidently work on a scale with my singing teacher. As my music GCSE came with a performance exams we used to do practice performances in front of our class (of just 10, very nice pupils) every 6 weeks and I was also terrified. I couldn’t open my eyes till the end of the song. Even when I rehearsed in front of my mum she wasn’t allowed to look at me.
I remember one time I wanted to really challenge myself but I auditioned for a solo in our school concert and was put in the programme to sing Lana Del Rey – Video Games. We had a rehearsal that afternoon and I froze so badly, I barely got the words out and it sounded relatively awful. I could tell everyone was nervous for me but they (terribly) pretended it was fine I just needed to ‘project more’ or ‘be more confident’ they’d say. When it came down to the performance I ran an earphone bud up my shirt so I could hear the original track whilst the audience could hear the instrumental and pretended that I just singing along to Lana in my bedroom. Somehow, I pulled it off.
It’s just always frustrated me so much because I love to sing more than anything but try as I might, I just can’t get it together in front of a crowd (childhood dreams crushed right here).
I’m not too sure how to best explain my other talent/party trick and as it involves my butt, I’ll refrain from adding any demonstration pictures. Basically, you know how when you tense your butt your cheeks like go in? Well I can do that one cheek at a time, and I thought everyone could, till my friends informed me this was incorrect. I can also do it with my knees, with I’ve found more people can do but still not everybody!
Let me know your talents/party tricks – hidden or otherwise!
Okay I’m not going to get too specific with this post because I know it’ll just read as though I’m draggingggggg an ex-boyfriend/friend/whatever. But its not ‘dragging’ if its true, right?
Honestly I’m not really a ‘regrets’ person. Like yeah I do some dumb stuff but I’m usually able to just go ‘ahhh that was a bad decisions wasn’t it hahaha’. I think this is just going to sound very generic as I know lots of people would answer this post the same but honestly my biggest regret is just putting up with things for longer than I had to, and trying to keep toxic people in my life.
I’m sure you all know what I mean. That guy that’s not even notice to you but you just reeeeeeally like him? That friends you keep making effort with for it to never be reciprocated? Late know phone calls listening to friends going to through hard times, but never quite remember to ask how you are? Who even has the energy? (Answer: not 20 year old me, but teenage me appeared to have plenty of energy for it all).
I think it’s just part and parcel of growing up though right?
Well I’m glad they got specific at the end there before I went off on one about magnetism (kidding, I don’t know anything anyway). Gah this post is going to be so cringe and I don’t even know if my single ass is qualified to be writing it anyway but here’s a lil list:
- Intelligence, but I don’t necessarily mean academic intelligence like there are so many different types. I like people that know things that I don’t know
- Easy going, because I’m so uptight
- But also reliable, to help my anxietyyyyy
- Funny AF, cause you know I can’t be cracking alllllll the jokes myself
- Older and taller. God that sounds shallow.
- Kind. Sounds obvious, but I’ve dated people that weren’t very kind and it’s not very good for me.
I’m gonna wrap this up now because it gets even more embarrassing.
I’m going to ahead and presume that this refers to winning a huuuuuuge jackpot rather than winning a token £10 for matching 3 balls or whatever. I’m also a very practical person, so I won a fucktonne of money (yes, this is a recognised unit of measurement and is greater than a ‘shitload’) I would…
- Pay off my parent’s mortgages. Least I could do really. Would be nice to get them a new kitchen & bathroom too.
- Pay off my student loan (that I have not yet finished building up)
- Buy a little car, just a nice little starter car
- Buy a house or put the money aside to do that later in life
- If there was anything left? A holiday would be nice. I’d like to help any of my friends/family that are in tight spots financially.
All very practically but I’m not really one to go and buy a jacuzzi or a helicopter or whatever! What would you guys do?
Self-desprication is a strength of mine so this shouldn’t be too hard…
- Snacking (FYI, I typed this wrong on my phone and autocorrect changed it to ‘anal king’ ahaha)
- I drink waaaay too much tea & my GP always tells me off!
- I’m usually really organised but I can be really bad at making sure I have enough medication left
- Leaving my room messy before I go out and then when I return future me is furious with past me
- Cancelling plans that I would actually enjoy because I’ve got inside my own head too much
I’m sure if you asked anyone that I live with they’d have much more to say!
Just gone go ahead & make a little list like yesterday! Things that make me sad are…
- My head, often for no reason
- The news. Honestly, the amount of hate and division in our world is heartbreaking beyond belief.
- Seeing my loved ones upset
- Me Before You (I don’t know if I’ve ever seeped so much)
- RuPaul telling Farrah Moan to sashay away
- Athlete – Wires
- Knowing that so many good natured people have so little but there are evil natured people that have everything
- Theresa May is Prime Minister (arguably connected to the point above)
So as you guys know I struggle with depression I’m not always the happiest chicken alive. Sometimes I’m happy go lucky and easily pleased and other times I struggle to find interest in anything. I’m thought I’d go about this by just listing a couple things that I usually enjoy and might try to do to get me out of a moody rut!
- Reading, I literally love to read
- Candles, especially smells like clean cotton
- Tea and biscuits
- My mummabear💕 Even if I do snap at her when I’m feeling down
- Memes. Sometimes you just need a good meme from an even better friend to bring a smile to your face!
- Trashy TV such as Come Dine With Me and Four in a Bed
- New makeup, especially highlighters. This sounds really insignificant but sometimes when I’m in a bad place with my depression I end up spending more money than is sensible but that’s another story for another day
- Watching music videos of live performances on YouTube with my dad
- Cooking with my flatmate, we love to make Mexican dishes
- Watching old comedy shows I’ve seen a million times like Peep Show, The IT Crowd & The Mighty Boosh
- Sweeties! I have the biggest sweet tooth ever 🍭
Let me know what little tricks you guys utilise to pick yourselves up!